top of page

3 Reasons Your ex Wants you to Contact him

Being quiet is a challenging task when implementing the no contact rule in a breakup scenario.

You feel powerless, out of control, and in a state of limbo. There will be moments where you want to give up and just reach out.

I get it, I have been there, but I am here to remind you that the temptation is not worth it, and you WILL regret breaking your silence. You want to be seen as irreplaceable and unforgettable. You want to be his one and only dream girl.

Here is the truth. Sure, your ex wants to hear from you, BUT it's for all the wrong reasons.

Right now, he is being led by his ego, NOT his heart. It takes time for him to realize that he could lose you for good, and if you are reading this right now, I can assume he's not there just yet.

When he realizes that he messed up, his pursuer instinct will automatically kick in, and he WILL chase after you. If he isn't doing that yet, then it's not the right time to communicate.

So why does he want YOU to break no contact? Reasons your ex wants to contact you

1: He Wants to Know That you are Still Dependant on him

You need to be aware that if you contact your ex, you are relaying a specific type of message, even if you don't intend to. The message he's interpreting is…

"My happiness is dependent on you, I need you in my life to function, and I am lost without you."

If this is the message you are sending out, you will not influence him to realize what he's lost. Instead, you will come across as desperate, clingy, and insecure. None of which is attractive or appealing to a man.

He doesn't want to be with a woman who can't live without him. What does that say about her? Not that she is a good woman but instead that she is a weak one. As much as we have been programmed to believe men like frail, submissive women, I can assure you that it's not what challenges a man or excites him.

If you think back to the beginning of your relationship when you first started dating, you will notice that you treated your ex casually. You were fun, relaxed, self-sufficient, and in control of your emotions. Your world didn't revolve around him, and that is precisely what gave you the power that pulled him in.

2: He Wants to Know if he is Still the "Prize"

He broke up with you because he thought he was special. That, for some reason, he was missing out on all the attention and freedom that comes with being single when he was with you. He wanted to prove that not only would other women want him but so would you even after he disregarded you.


Well, because he's the man, right? He's the big Alpha bad boy that is special.

ohhhh, please I'm yawning!

He was with you because he viewed you as a catch, but unfortunately, his ego got inflated at some point, which led you both to this point.

The last thing you want to do is validate his main reason for breaking up with you - making him believe he's something special. He's not better than you. He's not above you. You are his equal and, in a lot of ways, his superior; why? Because you are a woman.

Stay silent and let him THINK he's right. You be smart, and that means staying silent and letting your actions display your worth. Don't prove him right by chasing after him.

3: He Wants to Find out Your Intentions

If you are silent, he can't read you. It's pretty simple.

This annoys him because it puts him in a place of uncertainty. He wants proof that you are still on his string, that you are still captivated by him.

Knowing how you feel and what you want gives him an advantage. It allows him to disarm you and make you weak. You become vulnerable, easy to manipulate and infiltrate.

Suppose you are transparent about your emotional and mental state. In that case, you are unprotected, which means you are susceptible to being used, lied to, manipulated, and putting yourself in a position to get your heart broken all over again.

No contact gives you so much control because you can withhold communication, attention, affection, and most importantly, sex - all the things that your ex WILL crave from you at one point or another.

Yet, we as women don't use our power of influence to our advantage. We choose to give up our leverage so effortlessly in the hope of feeling temporarily wanted or noticed by our ex.

Here is the thing, sometimes men don't initially recognize what they really want. Men have an inner battle with themselves: a part of your ex wants to win back your affection quickly, but a larger part of him wants to work for it back.

You see, when something or someone is harder to get, they are perceived as a prize. Men think a highly valued woman will soon become unavailable if they don't win her over, making him "man up" and make a move.

Men want to be the pursuer. They don't enjoy things of value to be given to them. Well, they think they do, but they get more satisfaction when having to work for it. If you want to increase your value, you need to allow your ex to work a little harder for your attention.

You are a Girl with Game- preserve your dignity. It's essential if you want to reposition yourself in his life. You have to conduct yourself in a way that commands respect.

You don't want your appeal to deteriorate because you lost self-control and reached out. You will regret it; regardless of whether you want your ex back or not, you want to deal with this breakup with class.

Your silence gives you power... ALWAYS!

xxx Leandra

Learn More About the No Contact Rule

Make an Ex realize what he's Lost with the No Contact Rule Find out more HERE

Get your FREE mini Secret Game Plan HERE

Take Our FREE quiz HERE - Will he realize what he's lost?

Read This Girl's Got an Ex - HERE

Related Posts

See All


Recent Posts
Search By Tags
Follow Us
  • Facebook Basic Square
  • Twitter Basic Square
  • Google+ Basic Square
bottom of page