6 Mistakes Women Make with Relationship Sex
When you first got together the sex was amazing. The two of you couldn't keep your hands off each other. But you have been in a relationship for a while now, and over time, especially when life gets tough, that sexy spark can fizzle.
The entire act has become routine, and it appears only one partner is initiating sex. Often that partner is rejected. Sex rarely happens until it fades out completely.
The more you have sex, the more he’ll want to make love.
Of course, making love essentially involves having sex. But having sex, even great sex, is not necessarily making love. Having sex is desiring to touch another’s body for the physical pleasure it produces. Sex is automatic and physical.
But making love is about the emotional connection when one soul inhabits two bodies. It’s a connection that expresses love and admiration.
Women crave passion, intimacy, and romance, while men crave excitement and risk. Generally, women prefer making love and men prefer having sex. For both parties to reach their end goal, women must have more sex for him to want to make love more often.
Many women assume that when their partner wants to have a quickie or "dirty sex", it’s because they don’t love them anymore or that the man is using the woman for his pleasure. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
When a man is in a relationship, sometimes he is so attracted to his partner that he wants her in a fun, spontaneous way. But he may be afraid if he says something to her, she will overreact. Instead of dealing with long, drawn-out foreplay, he rejects her and doesn't initiate sex. He doesn't feel like working at seducing her. Sometimes he just wants sex but is too uncomfortable to tell her.
The more open a woman is to have sex occasionally, the more her partner will want to make love to her to reciprocate her needs.
Now it’s a different story if a man only ever wants to have sex with his girlfriend without the romance, passionate kissing, and cuddling she desires. If that is the case, there is an obvious issue in the relationship and a lot of disconnection that needs to be addressed.
Here are 6 Mistakes Women Make with Relationship Sex
1. You either never initiate sex or you always initiate sex.
Never initiating sex:
Failing to initiate sex is one of the biggest mistakes women in relationships make. We worry about our insecurities too much. We worry about putting ourselves in a vulnerable position where we could experience rejection. However, if a woman always makes her man be the initiator, their relationship will see an imbalance on the passion scale. Men want to be desired as much as women do. Show your attraction to him by taking the first step from time to time. He will appreciate it, and you may enjoy taking charge of your sexual experience. But make sure to use these moments as a treat or he may expect it to become the norm.
Always initiating sex:
It's just as dangerous to be the one always initiating sex. You may have reasons to initiate, like to boost your self-esteem. But when you always initiate sex, you will soon become resentful or hurt that he never initiates. You may be thinking, "I'm not sexy anymore" or "He's not attracted to me anymore." You will wonder if he desires you as passionately as he used to. However, this isn't the issue. If you are too forward in communicating that you want sex or are too available for sex, then you take away his greatest pleasure: the chase. A man wants to seduce you, to catch you. He wants to feel he worked “you when he gets you. Men enjoy a woman initiating sex sometimes because it's different. But if you always do it, your man will become a boring, lazy lover since you are taking away all his fun by controlling your sex lives.
2. Having sex in the dark
Whether it's because they are insecure about their bodies or because they feel it's more romantic, a lot of women will only have sex in the dark. Men are visual, and it's imperative for a man to see a woman's curves, face, and eyes. The room should be bright enough that he can identify your face if you want to ensure he's thinking of you and only you. A candle or dimmed lighting or leaving a light on in another room and partially cracking the door will make all the difference.
3. Only wearing ugly clothes to bed
Marilyn Monroe was a sex symbol, and she only wore Chanel No. 5 to bed. So, what does your sleeping attire say about you? After a long day with the kids or at work, all you want is a hot bubble bath with a glass of wine before putting on your most comfortable underwear or pajamas. As women in committed relationships, we don't consider what to wear to bed because we feel our men still want us regardless of what we wear. But unless it's his shirt, comfy clothes aren't a turn-on to your man. Once women are married, and especially after becoming mothers, they stop wearing sexy lingerie. Instead, they don granny panties and unflattering clothes. Aim for wearing lingerie or a sexy nightgown to bed once a week. You’ll feel sexy and desirable, and your man will appreciate how stunning you look. You'll remind him why he's with you again.
4. Feeling guilty for wanting to be naughty
Many women might worry if they are sensual, they’ll come across as slutty or cheap to their partners. But being a bit naughty may actually be what he wants from you sometimes! Remember, a man likes a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Have the courage to let go every now and then. Talk dirty, be in charge, don’t be afraid to be vocal. He will enjoy it. You don’t have to go overboard, just tune into your inner bad girl and let loose.
5. Blaming it on the headache
If you are not in the mood to have sex, tell him the truth. This whole headache thing is so cliché, and he knows you are lying. If you want it, say so. If you don't, say so. If he feels you can't be truthful about wanting sex, how can he trust you on more important matters?
6. Having high expectations
Learn to accept that sex won’t be mind-blowing every time. Every day is different within your relationship and every sexual encounter has a uniqueness to it. Don’t put pressure on him to perform like a stallion every single time. You wouldn’t want him to expect a crazy, lustful bad girl every time you had sex. Learn to accept and even welcome the variety. When you do, both of you will be able to enjoy sex more. xxx
101 FREE pages of the most effective and influential strategies women use to unlock their power and keep the upper hand in their relationships with men.