7 Reasons why the no Contact Rule Psychologically Works on men
Want to know the real secrets into why no contact works in getting your ex-boyfriend to realize what he's lost? Want to know how the no contact rule works on a man? Well, you are at the right place. I will share the science as to why going silent works on men.
I realize that being quiet is a tough task especially in the initial stages of a breakup. So why is the no contact rule so hard? Well it's understandable that after a breakup all you want is communication and answers to your questions. There will be moments where you want to give up and just reach out. I get it, I have been there but I am here to give you a secret insight into the power you and your silence have on your man and your relationship.
Once you truly understand why no contact is so effective in getting an ex back it will be so much easier to stick to it. Sure you will have moments of weakness and want to habitually rebel against the advice I'm about to give you but as tempting as it might be to contact your ex remember that it isn't something a Girl with Game would do.
Because a Girl with Game is always 10 steps ahead. It's time that you unlock her and show your ex what a high valued woman you are. Knowledge is power and you are going to have all the motivation you need here to stick to the no contact rule.
7 Reasons why the no Contact Rule works
1: We Speak a Different Language
The first thing to understand is that men don't respond to words, they respond to action, and in this case, they respond to no action. Being silent is still a strategic move and it is a persuasive one.
Men believe that behind every conversation is a problem that needs solving or a point that needs to be made. And he is right; this may be the exact reason you want to talk, to sort things out. The tricky part is that you are saying HE is the problem, and he doesn't feel he is a problem to be fixed. "Talks " make him irritable. No one likes to be reprimanded or made to feel guilty, and this really isn't the way to get your point across.
Words don't have the same impact, meaning, and power over men that they do for women. By talking, you are indirectly telling him that you are waiting for him to change. This puts him in a place of control which then causes him to lose respect for you. A Girl with Game will pull back and let her silence do the talking for her. She does this in an assertive way, not a sulky or angry way.
2: You Stir up Projection
Projection involves the transfer of undesirable feelings or emotions onto someone else. When your ex broke up with you or caused you to end the relationship, his actions made you feel confused, hurt, and rejected.
He was in control of the entire situation. He was in the lead, and you were just following behind him, trying to figure it all out. However, if you go silent, he doesn't know what you are thinking or your emotional state. So, you transfer those feelings of frustration and insecurity he has made you feel back onto him. I personally like to call it the emotional whip.
3: Silence Reflects your Confidence
Having the upper hand in a breakup scenario comes down to having a poker face. When you say less than necessary, you inevitably appear confident and more of a prize than you might be feeling.
Your silence will make him uncomfortable because cutting him off and speaking through your actions is a blow to his ego. He hurt you because he thought he had control over you, but the tables are now turned.
By going silent, you show him that you love and respect yourself. You are putting yourself first. This means you will remove yourself from anyone or any situation that makes you feel inferior. Your actions, not your words, are saying, "Okay, so you don't want me? Well, fine, I will find someone who will". If you contact your ex, you are relaying a specific type of message, even if you don’t intend to. The message he's interpreting is, "My happiness is dependent on you, I need you in my life to function, and I am lost without you.”
Women that know their worth don't pursue men that "don't want them." That confidence and self-respect are precisely what will pull him in and make you incredibly desirable again.
4: It Ignites his fix it Instinct
Men are built with the need to interpret and analyze; they have to know what you are thinking. When you conceal and reveal only what serves you strategically, you create intrigue. You become a puzzle he has to work out.
This causes him to think about you, wonder where he stands, and makes you instantly more appealing. Your number one goal during a breakup is to remain mysterious which automatically makes him intrigued.
5: Less is Always More
During a breakup, there is always a power struggle going on whether you realize it or not, and gaining the upper hand in many ways is a Game of appearances. How do you want to be perceived? When you say less than necessary you automatically appear more confident and compelling which is exactly what you want.
The less you say, the more he will say.
The less you contact him, the more he will want to hear from you.
The less you show emotion, the more emotional he will become.
Remaining silent also means there is less of a risk that you might say or do something that you will regret. Your job is to be a blank page; he shouldn’t be able to read what you are feeling or thinking and the less you say after the breakup, the more influence you will have.
6: It Gives you Leverage
Your silence will also prompt him to become defensive, and he will nervously try to fill in the blanks by revealing very interesting information. This could be his mistakes, his weaknesses, or his state of mind. Either way, he will give you crucial information that you can use to your advantage. Always remember the longer you keep your lips sealed, the quicker his lips will move.
7: It Bruises his ego
Every man's weakness is his ego. At their core all men want is to be the Alpha the "special one". When you behave as though you are indifferent as to whether you hear from him and seem to be less concerned if you work things out, it will make him panic that perhaps you don't care as much as you used to. When you make him think he is no longer on a pedestal your charge up his batteries. He will put more effort into making you believe he is still the prize.
Silence is golden because it has value. He’ll start to reflect on what he did to upset you because you have allowed him space and time to think about his actions. He is much more likely to change a certain behavior if he has decided to do so on his own and wasn’t nagged or told to by you.
Silence will always give you the power and that's why the no contact rule is so effective. xxx
Leandra Learn More About the No Contact Rule
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