Did I mess up the No Contact Rule?
The no-contact rule is the universal law of breakup advice. Every coach suggests it, and every woman knows she should do it.
But most women suck when it comes to no contact... we can't seem to step away from our phones or laptops, and we keep self-sabotaging and rebelling against the advice we are given, hoping that by some miracle, our story will be different.
The reality is, being silent is a challenging task, especially in the initial stages of a breakup. All we want as women are communication and answers to our questions.
I totally get it, you miss your ex, and you want to hear from him. But those silly instincts (fix-it or force-it) will start to creep in and take over your logic, and in a split second, you make the mistake of reaching out. Then the regret sets in, dammit! All that hard work for nothing...now what?
I have coached thousands of women through a breakup, and I have noticed an obvious pattern.
There is a voice in every woman urging her to rebel against the no-contact rule, and in most cases, the rebellious voice wins, and she will give in.
Being a silent siren is the most difficult strategy to follow through with, but it doesn't have to be.
If you have broken the no contact rule, that's okay, we can do some damage control, and you can start right now.
1: Understand the Rule
Many women think that the no-contact rule has a loophole. They try to rush the process and convince themselves that indirect contact is acceptable.
Men don't respond to words in the same way that we do, they respond to action, and in this case, they respond to NO ACTION. This means no effort on your part to initiate any form of contact for at least 30 - days. In other words, if he has broken up with you or provoked you to end things you have to initiate no contact if you want him to realize what he lost. This doesn't mean you must ignore him for 30-days if he reaches out but you must not initiate any contact during this period.
If you think there's nothing wrong with starting a little contact here and there then you are sadly mistaken.
You are not giving your ex an opportunity to miss your presence in his life. This means he has no incentive to be the one making contact or regretting anything.
The no-contact rule is a rule because it has to be followed in order to work. This means no texts, no phone calls, no emails, and definitely not trying to show up in places where you know he will be.
2: Accept responsibility
We all make mistakes we are human but you can't keep making the same mistake over and over hoping for a different result.
Every single text or call you initiate during the no-contact period will push him further and further away. You will be right back at square one feeling vulnerable, powerless, and undervalued.
Not only will you regret it but every time you have to restart a no-contact period you lose leverage because it isn't a blow to his ego and it will get easier for him to be stubborn and not reach out.
The fact of the matter is this strategy loses its power if it isn't done in the right way. You have to be disciplined and if you feel like you haven't been and cant, maybe it's time to invest in yourself and ask for some help.
3: Get a strategy in place.
Having a Game Plan will always determine your success because being strategic raises your chances considerably at sticking to the no-contact rule and influencing an ex to realize what he's lost.
Without a strategy, your behavior will be reactive instead of proactive, and the possibility of failing is high if you try to "wing it." Right now, you aren't thinking logically; you are letting your heart take the lead.
Having a game plan gives you an advantage. It encourages you to have restraint and makes you in charge of holding the emotional whip, as I like to call it.
When your ex broke up with you or caused you to end the relationship, his actions made you feel confused, hurt, and rejected. He was in control of the entire situation. He was in the lead, and you were just following behind him, trying to figure it all out.
However, if you go silent and have a Game Plan, he doesn't know what you are thinking or your emotional state. So, you transfer those feelings of frustration and insecurity he has made you feel back onto him.
If you would like to learn more about how you can gain the upper hand during no contact and ignite his interest in you again, then click- HERE
Instead of reaching out to your ex, why not utilize your time and have a strategy; I'm right here. Let's influence your ex into realizing what he's lost.
I will personally create a detailed, tailored Game Plan strategy with actionable steps to help you with your specific breakup or relationship issue.
Get your FREE mini breakup guide HERE
If you want your ex to realize what he's lost, then this is your chance. Secure your Game plan right now, and let's get you what you want.
Take our quiz to find out if he will realize what he's lost