Does My Ex Want Me To Contact Him?
When you feel the temptation to contact your ex ask yourself what is more important: his instant gratification and ego boost or your own dignity and future relationship success? Men don't respond to words, they respond to action, and in this case, they respond to no action.
I realize that remaining silent is a challenging task, especially in the initial stages of a breakup. All you want is communication and answers to your questions. You need to be aware that if you contact your ex, you are relaying a specific type of message, even if you don't intend to. The message he's interpreting is, "My happiness is dependent on you, I need you in my life to function, and I am lost without you."
If you want an ex to realize what he's lost, it's not smart to be the initiator. Your number one role during a breakup situation is to be a blank page. You have so much control. You can withhold communication, attention, affection, and most importantly, sex - all the things that your ex WILL crave from you at one point or another. Yet, we as women don't use our power of influence to our advantage. We choose to give our leverage up so effortlessly in the hope of feeling temporarily wanted or noticed by our ex.
Sometimes men don't initially recognize what they really want. Men have an inner battle with themselves: a part of them wants to win back your affection quickly, but a larger part of them wants to work for it back. When something or someone is harder to get, they are perceived as a prize. Men think a high valued woman will soon become unavailable if they don't put effort into winning her over.
Men want to be the pursuer. They don't wish things of value to be given to them. Well, they think they do, but they get more satisfaction when having to work for it. If you want to increase your value, you need to allow a man to work a little harder for your attention. If you want to reposition yourself in his life, you have to conduct yourself in a way that commands respect. Preserving your dignity is essential during a breakup. A woman's appeal deteriorates if she gives herself to a man before there is a new emotional bond. However, once a new strong foundation is formed, a man's affection for a woman is enhanced dramatically.
Playing hard to get is the most effective way to make any guy desire you for the long term. It's not a secret. But very few girls have been able to master this skill. And the only difference between being pursued and being abandoned is understanding how to master it. Of course, he wants you to reach out but at this point, it's not about what he wants' it's about what you want.