Gaslighting - His Manipulation Tactic 4
It's not uncommon for a woman to hear the statements like; "You're crazy." "Listen to yourself; you're losing it." "You're so childish." "You're irrational." "You're over-reacting." "You're too emotional." "You can't take a joke." "You always jump to the wrong conclusion." "Stop taking everything I say so seriously." Gaslighting is a manipulation tool men use to silence a woman and make us question our own sanity.
It is a power move to shift blame and stop a conversation he doesn't want to be in.
The purpose of gaslighting is redirection so that the focus becomes "your issues," your" nagging, "your controlling," or "crazy" behavior. This tactic works for a man because it indeed does cause our emotions to escalate, and we actually then do become inflamed and over-emotional.
We then fall into a man's hands by trying to defend our response to whatever it was that caused us to question him in the first place.
The more we try to justify our reaction, the more we fall into a man's trap and spin out of control resulting in shouting, explaining, complaining, crying, and pleading.
All of this then justifies the gaslighter's statement, which causes us to question our own mental state by believing we are weak, inferior, or childlike.
It is an effective tool used to control women and silence our voices. Trying to communicate your frustration with a gaslighter only makes their strategies more effective.
If you talk about their behavior and why it's hurting you, gaslighters will turn it back on you again with phrases like "you're just too sensitive.
The emotional mind games gaslighters play have the effect of convincing you that you could be imagining or “making up” scenarios that don’t exist, when in all reality, what you are feeling or experiencing is real.
This was the case with my friend *Ella. For years she expected her husband to be cheating on her. She was approached by numerous people and told that this was the case too. Every time *Ella confronted her husband about it he turned it on her.
Her: "*Andrew I know you are being unfaithful. I think we need a separation."
Him: "Oh here we go again! Sweatheart you know very well these are your insecurities playing up because you have put on weight. I trust you 100% why can't you trust me. I am tired of always being accused of cheating. You are starting to sound like your mother. Didn't she always accuse your father too when he wasn't doing anything?"
Her: "But things just don't add up *Andrew why would people tell me that you are cheating on me when they have nothing to gain."
Him: "They are jealous of our relationship. It would be stupid of you to give those jealous people what they want."
Her: "I know you are *Andrew, I have so much evidence to prove it. I have seen evidence of it with my own eyes"
Him: "You see what you want to see. Why can't you just be happy? Why do you always have to look for things."
This went on for years and eventually *Ella ended up in a rehab facility for depression. Andrew completely manipulated her perception of what was real.
The good news is that *Ella is now doing great, she has never been happier, and now that she knows what gaslighting is she has promised herself to never allow a man to have so much power over her emotional state.
Most of us have been gaslighted at some point in our relationships, which is why it is so important to learn how to recognize the technique, shut it down, and reduce the subconscious impact on our confidence.
When ignored, gaslighting can have a destructive and long-term impact on our emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical well-being...
So be warned, ladies, and Game up!
His other manipulation tactics
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