Getting an ex Back After A Year
If your relationship with your ex was good, then there is still the chance that you have a special place in his heart. Even if your ex has accepted the breakup and moved on, you can rest assured that your ex has been thinking about you too.
A lot has obviously changed in one year, and it could be possible he is completely over you. So, before you apply any strategies, make sure you are in an excellent position to get his interest back. If he has been dating his new partner for +/ a year, I would highly recommend moving on. There is a high probability of rejection if he is dating someone else, and I would not attempt it. Warning: the below strategy can leave you exposed.
This strategy will put you in a vulnerable position in comparison to the 10-step formula included in my book "This Girls Got an Ex". On the plus side, the time apart does actually give you some leverage.
A: He’s Had Space
Making contact soon after a breakup has its disadvantages. The breakup issues are still fresh. The fighting, your insecurities, or problems are blown up to be something monstrous in his mind. However, time apart helps men forgive as well as forget. Most of the issues he faced with you will be irrelevant now, and he will only remember the positive. Like how out of this world, your body was or how great you were at motivating him. The fact that you were so adventurous and even how amazing it felt when you tickled his back.
B: You Have Both Grown
I always say to my clients; YOU are the key to it all. That’s because self-improvement truly is the best way to make an ex realize what he lost. The time apart has allowed you to reflect and work on your personal flaws. You have both had the time to become better versions of yourselves through the lessons that came with the breakup. This long break helps your new improvements seem more authentic and self-fulfilled. This will intrigue your ex and make him want to get to know the new you.
1: Bump into Him
Please note this strategy is ONLY to be used if you haven't seen your ex for 6 months to a year.
Plan in Advance: If you know your ex is going to be at a certain event, be prepared. Make sure you plan your reasons for being there and how you will approach the situation.
Don't Oversell Yourself: Don't overdress in a sexy way or exaggerate how well you are doing or how much weight you have lost. All you will do is come across as desperate and that you care that he notices it. Instead, take control of the conversation by keeping it less personal. “I am doing well thank you, still consulting (or) recently changed job roles, so that's been interesting”. Keep it basic and ask how he has been / how are his family members and that you send your regards. Do not mention his dating life or yours.
Have a date (preferably one that excels in areas that your ex is lacking in): Is your ex short? Go with a tall man. Was your ex balding? Find a guy with great hair. Does your ex have a terrible style or a pasty complexion? Don't try to make your ex jealous by being all over your date. It will be obvious because every woman tries to do this. Don’t laugh extra loud at your date's jokes or keep glancing over to see if your ex is looking. This is your opportunity to show your ex that he is irrelevant. Be within his view for a few minutes then disappear. You want to be mysterious and make him wonder what you are doing and how serious things are with this guy. You need to intrigue him, not stroke his ego, by trying to make him jealous. It's tempting to try to make your ex jealous or to flirt with someone else; I get it. But you need to keep in mind that making him jealous is not your goal right now.
End the Conversation First: Make sure you are the first to end the conversation. Look at your watch and say, "It was great catching up / seeing you, I don't want to keep Andrew waiting. Take care, Brian." Not only are you portraying that speaking to your ex is not something you are desperate to do, but you are also prioritizing your new date over him. You leave your ex feeling a bit rejected. He is no longer on that pedestal, and he now knows you have respected his decision and moved on. You were able to because you are a high valued individual. Because you are a prize.
2: Text Him
A simple and convenient way to grab your ex's attention is to contact him via text message. You need to send a message that shows that you haven't forgotten him, but that you are no longer romantically invested. You treat him like a friend instead of a love interest.
Here is a simple text message that works great for this.
If you bumped into him:
"Hey, Ben. It was great seeing you on Saturday night. Have a good day. Take care. Anne" This message is innocent and friendly. You aren't asking questions, so you are not using it as an excuse to get his attention. You are also ending the message with " take care" meaning: I don't need a response from you. You end the text with your name meaning: we are no longer romantically connected, so I know there is a possibility that you no longer have my number, and I'm okay with that. This takes the pressure off of him, and he will be more inclined to respond and continue a conversation.
If you didn't bump into him:
"Hey, Ben. A picture of you popped up on my Facebook newsfeed, or I was cleaning out and found an old picture that reminded me of you. So, I just thought I would drop you a message to see how you are doing, hope you are well. Anne" It's casual, and it will get his attention. By saying a picture of YOU instead of US popped up, it means that you have mentally and emotionally disconnected the both of you romantically. You are not daydreaming about your relationship, but instead just thought of him. You are also not asking questions, so it doesn't come across as desperate or calculating. If you have not been in touch with your ex for a while, then this will initiate a response from him. At this point, your focus should be on trying to create a new, interesting foundation to build on. You are slowly paving the way to a relationship again, not jumping straight into one. You want to take things as slow as possible. You want him to feel as though it was his idea to get back together, not yours. This will determine if he will come back and stay. Once he replies and the door to communication is open, proceed to formula 8 create the power shift 9 the face-to-face meeting and 10 close the deal which is in my book This Girl's Got an Ex