Who Should Break the no Contact Rule?
You want your ex back or him to regret hurting you, so you have implemented the no contact rule. Things are going well, and you are remaining strong, but as time has passed, you are not sure who should initiate contact after the breakup. Things have hit a stalemate, and you don't know what to do about it.
You can't ignore your pesky thoughts urging you to make the first move, and although deep down you know you have to be strong, you are trying to talk yourself into the benefits of contacting him. You must rise above fear, disbelief, and a sense of inadequacy or whatever it may be.
Trust me when I tell you that the only way your ex will regret anything is if HE is the person to break no contact.
You are a Girl with Game; you are no longer that frail woman who he hurt. This is the new version of yourself; she does not chase, beg, plead or give in.
Although you will be tested and challenged to stay strong, you have to believe in your ability to influence him. You have to see yourself for what you truly are... a prize.
So what if you made mistakes, put on weight, or forgot your worth during your relationship with your ex. That was then, and this is now. Believe in yourself, and recognize that you are a high valued woman who is irreplaceable.
You have come face to face with a woman's greatest fear - rejection. Although you are petrified to experience it again, there is nothing to fear because you have nothing to lose by remaining silent. Yet, you are guaranteed to lose your dignity, confidence, self-respect, and leverage if you do reach out.
The only threat to your success is yourself.
He has to be the initiator, and here are three reasons why a man should always be the one to break no contact.
#1: Make your ex chase after you by igniting his pursuer instinct
Men are driven. They enjoy the chase and love the challenge because they have been the predators and hunters throughout history. They thrive on the sense of accomplishment that comes with conquering a challenge.
Men are natural thrill-seekers: they jump out of planes dive with sharks, hunt animals, race cars, and are stimulated by anything with an element of competition and danger. And when it comes to pursuing a woman, men are at their most competitive.
Because securing a mate is a challenging competition driven by biology.
The unexpected extraction of your attention has burst his bubble, and he feels like he is losing. He's confused but also intrigued. He won't understand where he went wrong to lose your affection, and his instinct to fix the "problem" will cause him to pursue you until he has regained your love.
He may try harder and can become even more invested in you because you are remaining a mental challenge.
#2: Make him think that breaking no contact was his idea
If you are the one to break no contact, not only will it increase his ego in an unhealthy way but he will feel as though he's being pressured into something he might not want. His guard will go up, and he might start questioning whether or not he wants to be in communication with you again. He will think to himself "Am I talking to her because I want to, or am I just being polite?"
You have to always be a little out of his reach, and he will keep reaching towards you. This gives him the space to come to you. Aloofness, combined with self-control, makes him worried that he might lose you.
Men usually view a woman's calm and assertive behavior as a sign that she is reaching her breaking point. He realizes he needs to make a change, or he will lose her.
He doesn't see her as a pushover anymore. It gets his attention because he realizes he doesn't have a 100% hold on her, so he gains a newfound respect for her.
Remember, a man can not love a woman he doesn't respect, so in order for him to be sure that he wants you back, he has to respect you again first.
#3: Your ex will value you more if he has to work for you
Your ex wants to feel like he won back his dream girl. A special
woman is not easily obtained, especially after a breakup. Your silence draws him in because it gives him no guarantees before he has earned it.
The only way he should be lucky enough to get your attention is when he shows you that he means it by proving he is worthy of your forgiveness through his actions.
When a man receives clear signals of interest from a woman, he gets instant gratification. But the feeling quickly fades because he knows where he stands, and the case is closed. But when your behavior and interest in him is uncertain, he can think of little else but you. You become the mystery he must solve, and he will be in constant search for the clues that will get him closer to victory. Subconsciously he will think, "Wow, I can't stop thinking about her and her next move, She must be something really special if she's always on my mind!"
Make him think he wants this more than you.
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