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The Quickest Way To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Throughout my years of coaching, I have seen that exes can come back at any time.

Although I work in a 12-week time frame, this is just a guideline. I don't believe there is a specified period for when an ex realizes what he's lost.

If your connection is strong enough, there is a blueprint to speed up the time it takes for him to regret breaking up with you.

I summarise this as The LURE Technique.

This strategy influences the way your ex perceives you because it subconsciously reignites his pursuer instinct. It entices him back into your life and makes him want to chase after you which ultimately causes him to regret ever breaking up with you.

Here are the 4 crucial elements in getting your ex back faster

L - Ladder knowledge

The first step to increasing your chances is by understanding his mindset through the breakup process. It is no secret that men and women process things differently, and a breakup is no exception. In my book, This Girls Got an Ex; I talk in-depth about the six stages that women go through in a breakup and the six stages that men go through. I have called this The Breakup Ladder Women and men deal with separation differently and move their way up and down the breakup stages in opposite directions.

U - Utilize your time apart

This is the perfect time to regroup before trying to win back your ex's affection and evaluate what needs to change.

  • Start no Contact

Men don't respond to words in the same way women do, they respond to action, and in this case, they respond to no action. This means no form of communication at all. Texts, phone calls, emails, and definitely not trying to show up in places where you know your ex will be.

I admit that being quiet is challenging during a breakup especially when the separation is fresh but there are 7 powerful reasons why no contact psychologically works on men. The most important thing to remember is that if you contact your ex, you are relaying a specific type of message, even if you don’t intend to. The message he's interpreting is, that your well-being is dependent on him and what he does. He will also think that you need him in your life in order for it to function. You don't want your ex to believe for a second you are lost without him. There is a reason why it is said that silence is golden- because it has value. Going silent helps you flip the chase.

  • Get A Strategy in Place

The only time you should communicate with your ex is if he contacts you first but first, you have to have a Personalized Game Plan. Having a strategy to grab your ex's attention raises your chances considerably. It gives you a higher level of awareness by pre-empting your man's behavior and yours. A personalized Game plan prepares you for different scenarios that might come up. It helps you identify and eliminate your weaknesses and use your strengths to your benefit. Without a strategy, your behavior will be reactive instead of proactive and the possibility of failing is high if you try to "wing it." Right now, you aren't thinking logically; you are letting your heart take the lead.

How will you respond to a message from your ex that won't push him further away? How will you ignite his interest? How will you become irreplaceable?

So, if you would like your own personalized Game Plan specifically for you and your situation click HERE

  • Reflect

Often, we learn more from our losses than we do from our wins. A breakup allows you to reflect on the type of person you want to be and who you are at the moment. Do some self-analysis. Give your mind a chance to wander. Self-reflection can provide an opportunity for you to think about your goals, your progress, and the changes you want to make in your life. Take the time to discover who you currently are and identify the changes you want to see for yourself. Think about what led to your breakup and try to replace the criticism with curiosity.

Reflection means taking an honest look at your contribution to the breakup. Take time to understand the significant turning points in your relationship. What has led you to this crossroads in your life?

Accepting all the responsibility for the breakup won't get you anywhere, but neither will blaming your partner for everything.

  • Invest in Your Personal Development

If you want a loving relationship, the best place to start is on the relationship you have with yourself. We all have two types of voices going on in our heads. One is ego lead, consisting of negative self-talk, fears, and insecurities that keep us stuck in the past.

The other is much softer and subtle. That voice is an echo of our true self, the best version of who we are, and our gut instinct. If we listen carefully in moments of need and reflection, it will direct us —and it will be right every time. It is the voice that says, "take action, you can do it." It is the voice that encourages you to learn, grow, and believe in yourself; it is the voice of confidence, strength, and determination. It is the voice that transforms your spirit from mediocre to amazing. It is the voice that motivates you to make a change and to put yourself first.

Both voices exist, but only you decide which one you pay attention to. You are the one who chooses to take action or not. Learning a new skill, developing yourself, or hiring a coach will always be beneficial in restoring the confidence you have lost. When you seek to improve yourself, you become capable, prepared, and informed.

When you can put your positive traits and attributes on a pedestal, you are becoming the best version of yourself.

The most crucial aspect of self-development is setting high standards for yourself. You need to overcome your own negative thoughts. You wouldn’t want to win back your ex and then make the same mistakes or have the same insecurities that could push him away.

R -Rebrand yourself

What do you want Mr. Ex to associate you with now that you have broken up? This time apart is your opportunity to evolve into a confident woman who is ready to be in a relationship again. Men love women who continuously strive to better themselves.

How would you like to evolve in the next few months?

What kind of life would you like to have?

Once you have figured this out, seek out the help you need to achieve this. Is it your new independence, mystery, sexiness, or being a challenge? Maybe all the above. To pique his interest in you again, you need to think of yourself as a personal brand. When you rebrand yourself, you create your new value?

If you don’t know your new value as a single woman, you cannot make your ex realize what he has lost. You’ll find it challenging to pique his interest again unless you can market the new improved YOU. Think of yourself as a product or brand. Even the best products won’t gain interest unless marketed effectively.

E- Emotional control

When you take time to compose yourself, you gain back control over your emotions. You will be able to engage with confidence when your ex reaches out to you. Having a personalized game plan to make you appear to be emotionally in control gives you an advantage. Your aim is to be two steps ahead of your ex by putting your new cool, calm and collected persona on display. When you act emotionally, your ex will learn three things:

1: You care more than he does.

2: He’s in control.

3: How to use your weaknesses against you.

Chasing him will push him even further away from you. Thus, begins the vicious cycle of wounding your self-worth even more and making your need for him intensify. A girl with no game will attempt at negotiating, pleading, or trying to manipulate a man with sex, but this never works.

Caring less is a strategy that highlights why a Girl with Game is different from the average woman. She forgets about instant gratification and instead looks at the bigger picture. She doesn’t hide in her house for weeks with her phone in one hand and a box of tissues in the other. She doesn’t give ultimatums, and she certainly doesn’t wait around for him to decide what he wants. A Girl with Game understands that you have to leave him out of the equation to get him. In other words, you have a much better chance of getting him to realize what he’s lost if he doesn’t feel pressured into feeling it.

A Girl with Game’s approach is to respect herself and his decision, and she “moves on.” She carries herself in a way that affirms she isn’t desperate, and if he doesn’t want her, that’s okay, another man will. She doesn’t say this but instead shows him. As painful as it is and as afraid as she might be to lose him, she will always maintain her dignity. She will never chase, especially when she is being cast aside. Keeping her emotions in check will always give you the advantage.


The less you say after the breakup, the more power you will have.

Get your FREE Mini Breakup Guide HERE

Want your own personalized Game Plan created personally by me? Click HERE

Will he realize what he's lost? Take the quiz HERE

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